Cynical Karma

An old superstition is that terrible things happen in threes. When a family member passes on, it has seemed pretty accurate, in my family at least, that two more will follow within a relatively close timeframe. This has happened to me twice already. It seems as if the worst things happen in threes, but the little bad things that really irritate and get under your skin happen in powers of threes. When something in daily life goes wrong, have you ever noticed that the entire day seems to be a string of bad events? That is, until you just don't care anymore...

Take a bad hair day for example. You wake up late and start to get ready for your daily routine. Not too bad so far, until you try to fix your hair. No matter what you do or try, it just won't sit the way you want it to. Too much mousse, wash it out, not enough mousse, add more, it kinda leans one direction too much, brush it out, then you look like a mixture of Prince and John Edwards. You wash your hair to start all over, then realize that you just spent 25 minutes accomplishing absolutely nothing at all. Bad event number one..

You finally decide that you don't have enough time to style your "did" just the way that you want, so you slick it all back with just water and hope it falls into place by the time you get to work. At this point, you're running late, so grabbing breakfast/coffee on the go is the most feasible option due to time constraints. Pulling into the McDonald's drive-thru ( I still don't understand why it isn't drive-"through"), you see that you are only one car behind the guy in the pickup truck with no passengers. You think to yourself, "this'll go fast. At most, he'll order a meal with a large coffee and I'll be up to bat."

After ordering, you pull around the corner to pay and the pickup truck is still sitting at the food pickup window. No big deal, your order was easy, a simple fruit parfait and a coffee. It took less than 20 seconds to order, according to the McD's drive-thru timer that you can clearly see next to the drive up register. The monetary transaction is complete and you pull forward, to get behind the truck still standing at the food pickup window...9 minutes have passed and you've seen 6 bags pass through the pickup window along with 4 cup carriers stacked with large coffee orders. Yes, the guy in front has ordered breakfast for the entire jobsite that he works at. A typical 5 minute drive-thru has turned into a 15 minute disaster. By the way, your coffee is bitter, the hash browns are stale, and the cheese in your McMuffin is hard and brittle. Bad event number two, three, four and five..

While driving into work, you muscle down the corn derivative breakfast because you are absolutely starving and finally get to your jobsite. There seems to be construction at the site and you are forced to park in a shaded area under a tree. It may seem like a nice place to park, until you step out of your car. Looking at the ground, you see splatters of avian defecates and some wild berries all around your car. No big deal, there aren't any birds in the tree right now, and the wind isn't blowing, which would cause the leaves to shake about, dropping berries all over the place. You get into your office and notice an influx of messages that are high priority and demand your attention for the remainder of the morning. By the time lunch rolls around, you bolt out of the front door to find your car covered in red and white splatters. Red from the berries, white from the ... well you know. Alright, no biggie, you'll run it through the carwash during lunch. As you stand next to your car door, you go to press the unlock button on your keyfob and notice that you left the window open. Yes, your seat is covered with berry and crap splashes. You get so mad that you let out a primal scream then through your hands up into the air and slam them down onto you car roof. Yup, you just smacked your hands into the same stuff that is covering your seat. Bad event number six, seven, eight, nine and ten..

On the way to lunch, you are at the point where you just don't care anymore. Your seatbelt isn't strapped, you're talking on your phone while you're driving, without a handsfree device all while speeding through the city streets. Every stop light you go through is green and every car in front of you seems to switch to the next lane over. You decide on a light lunch and grab a salad from a local cafe. The cashier says that they shorted you change from your last visit and gives you the salad gratis. You are able to find a seat overlooking the street next to a window, under the air conditioning vent. You are waiting for something bad to happen, just so you can rub it off and say, "so what." It never happens, while you are in the, "I don't care frame of mind." You get back to work and are given the rest of the day off because of a gas leak in the building. You get home, then your favorite sports team wins.

The point is, when all else fails, stop caring. Life's too short.

Feather in, feather out

Gang initiations can be events that include jump ins, armed robbery, rape, assault or even murder. As a gang applicant, you may be required to do these things as a show of commitment and trust to the other gang members. Many gangs exist all across the world and some actually span worldwide. For some people, being a member of a collective that hails from the same street or just hates a certain color, is enough to supposedly die for. That is until they are faced with death, then residual thoughts of dying for a cause that is feeble at best, dwindles away and is replaced with realism. Let's examine the psyche of living things during a gang initiation through dialog.

"So, you's wanna hang out on the same power line as us, huh?" questioned the sparrow.

"Well, yeah. You guys have the best view of the park," the robin chirped.

"Only the toughest birds get to hang out here. Do you's think you's has what it takes to be a Power Line Dangler? We only want the cream of the crop."

"I guess, I mean what exactly do I have to do to prove it to you?"

"You's see that highway there? The one with all the cars driving by real fast."

"Ummm, yeah," eked the robin.

"Look here, you's gotta' fly real close to the ground and cross the highway between them cars as they's driving by real fast."

"But, what's the point? I can fly higher than that, where they'll never hit me."

"Listen, I don't make the rules, I just live by 'em. It's always been the same for eh'ry gang out there. Squirrels, cats, dogs, mongooses, deer, but the most famous gang, the frogs, have been doing it longer than anyone else. Them humans even made a vid'ya game out 'dem frogs."

"I really don't understand why we have to do this to sit on a wire, but I'll play along anyhow..."

I've got the power

The kidneys work to remove impurities from the bloodstream. Whatever gets processed is excreted in the form of urine. For those without kidney failures, it usually works like clockwork, except whenever you have to take a mandatory drug test. No matter how much water you drink, you just can't "go". Whenever you are in the middle of something else important, like the good part in the movie, you can't help but need "go". Karma seems to hold a lot of pull in the world of "going".

Different apparatuses have been created to collect and dispose of urine. Trees, canyons, walls, cups, buckets, toilets, balconies and urinals all serve this purpose. Of all of the different objects, one has the most stigma, urinals.

Urinals have one purpose and one purpose only, to collect urine from males. There are nothing fancy about them, they simply are mounted on a wall and have water released from the upper portion of the contraptions. Gravity does the rest. There is no suction and no hydraulic engineering marvels about them. They collect, release, then flush away. The men that use urinals do so, because it is quick, efficient and they simply can. I, myself, have used a urinal or two and can't complain. Urinals with partitions are widely used, yet urinals without partitions built between them are seldom used. Why is this?

My understanding is that some men are either well endowed, or not. Being well endowed is a matter of opinion and reference. A concern for some men, is that they do not want to have to deal with a potential situation of another man looking over and complimenting or prodding about. Insulting one's manhood can be devastating to the psyche and could possibly destroy even the most egotistical of males. This behavior all goes back to childhood years. Everything is compared, everything. At what point or age does a man move on from hiding, or being concerned with self-perceived inadequacies? Is there such a stepping stone in life? I believe there is. This stepping stone is called the "screw it phenomena".

The "screw it phenomena" is the point in life when you realize that you aren't the only one. You are not Neo, and you definitely are not special. The concern that you have with yourself is a concern that many others share as well. Groups and communities are built on such inadequacies. Once you realize that the "thing" that you have been hiding is the same ratio as the other "things" in this world (for the most part), you too can use the urinal in the middle and will never have to wait in line or casually walk over to the enclosed toilet that just opened up. FREEDOM!!!!!