I've been really sick the past few days and was feeling especially down and out last Friday. My stomach was dying for something really really heavy during lunch, so I ventured over to Burger King(r). I was looking forward to ordering a BK Double Stacker(r) combo when a beam of light glared at me from the menu. I saw a picture of a burger with three patties. I immediately assumed it was that sumo-sized triple Whopper(r) and ignored it initially. Three Whopper(r) patties was a bit too much. You figure that one patty is called a Whopper(r) for a reason, imagine trying to down three of those bad boys at one time.
I pulled up to the ordering mic and asked for a quick minute to review my choices one last time. This brings up a common dilemma. Why do we ask for a few moments to review the fast food menu at drive-thrus(throughs), when we already know what is on it? Anyhow, moving along, I cleared my throat, and stated, "I'm ready to order."
The attendant politely replied, "go ahead with your order, sir."
"I would like a double stacker....wait a sec, scratch that.." I saw that the triple patty delight was in fact not a Whopper(r) at all. It was a BK Triple Stacker(r). This may not be much difference, but a Whopper(r) is indeed a huge sandwich just because of it's name. A BK Triple Stacker(r) is much more enjoyable, because it's name implies that it is a regular burger, just stacked thrice as high. "I'm sorry, I would like to order a BK Triple Stacker(r) combo instead."
I drove through(thru), paid, received my paper drink cup and bag of wondrous delight, then parked right outside of Burger King(r). I could've just parked and walked inside of the restaurant, but that would've required way too much work getting out of my car, I chose to keep my carbon emissions a bit higher, by driving thru(through).
I took a sip of my tasty beverage (thank you Samuel L. Jackson, saying tasty beverage is synonymous with your awesomeness) and inhaled all of the stale and heavily salted fries. Whenever I eat a meal, I tend to save the best item for last. In this scenario, the BK Triple Stacker(r) took priority as the best item because fries and a soda are just plain dull in any meal (if you call it a meal). When I finally got to the burger, cheese stuck to the waxy paper wrapping and I took my index finger and wiped off the separated cheese and simply wiped it back onto the side of the burger from where it came from. I opened my mouth, in the same sense as opening for a dentist, profusely wide open where your jaw bones actually make that popping noise. I bit down onto a massive helping of the burger as my teeth easily glided through(thru) the soft, flamed broiled patties, bacon, cheese and stacker sauce. I completed my journey through(thru) burger awesomeness and found myself quite content, yet extremely overstuffed of junk food.
The next next thing I remember, I woke up fifteen minutes later. Seriously, I freaking fell asleep due to the burger I just ate. I had a good night's rest the night before, I wasn't sleepy at all. The caloric overload of a meal I just had, quite literally knocked me out. I think I'll leave the multi-stacked burgers with more than two patties to the big(ger) boys...
