Cynical Karma

An old superstition is that terrible things happen in threes. When a family member passes on, it has seemed pretty accurate, in my family at least, that two more will follow within a relatively close timeframe. This has happened to me twice already. It seems as if the worst things happen in threes, but the little bad things that really irritate and get under your skin happen in powers of threes. When something in daily life goes wrong, have you ever noticed that the entire day seems to be a string of bad events? That is, until you just don't care anymore...

Take a bad hair day for example. You wake up late and start to get ready for your daily routine. Not too bad so far, until you try to fix your hair. No matter what you do or try, it just won't sit the way you want it to. Too much mousse, wash it out, not enough mousse, add more, it kinda leans one direction too much, brush it out, then you look like a mixture of Prince and John Edwards. You wash your hair to start all over, then realize that you just spent 25 minutes accomplishing absolutely nothing at all. Bad event number one..

You finally decide that you don't have enough time to style your "did" just the way that you want, so you slick it all back with just water and hope it falls into place by the time you get to work. At this point, you're running late, so grabbing breakfast/coffee on the go is the most feasible option due to time constraints. Pulling into the McDonald's drive-thru ( I still don't understand why it isn't drive-"through"), you see that you are only one car behind the guy in the pickup truck with no passengers. You think to yourself, "this'll go fast. At most, he'll order a meal with a large coffee and I'll be up to bat."

After ordering, you pull around the corner to pay and the pickup truck is still sitting at the food pickup window. No big deal, your order was easy, a simple fruit parfait and a coffee. It took less than 20 seconds to order, according to the McD's drive-thru timer that you can clearly see next to the drive up register. The monetary transaction is complete and you pull forward, to get behind the truck still standing at the food pickup window...9 minutes have passed and you've seen 6 bags pass through the pickup window along with 4 cup carriers stacked with large coffee orders. Yes, the guy in front has ordered breakfast for the entire jobsite that he works at. A typical 5 minute drive-thru has turned into a 15 minute disaster. By the way, your coffee is bitter, the hash browns are stale, and the cheese in your McMuffin is hard and brittle. Bad event number two, three, four and five..

While driving into work, you muscle down the corn derivative breakfast because you are absolutely starving and finally get to your jobsite. There seems to be construction at the site and you are forced to park in a shaded area under a tree. It may seem like a nice place to park, until you step out of your car. Looking at the ground, you see splatters of avian defecates and some wild berries all around your car. No big deal, there aren't any birds in the tree right now, and the wind isn't blowing, which would cause the leaves to shake about, dropping berries all over the place. You get into your office and notice an influx of messages that are high priority and demand your attention for the remainder of the morning. By the time lunch rolls around, you bolt out of the front door to find your car covered in red and white splatters. Red from the berries, white from the ... well you know. Alright, no biggie, you'll run it through the carwash during lunch. As you stand next to your car door, you go to press the unlock button on your keyfob and notice that you left the window open. Yes, your seat is covered with berry and crap splashes. You get so mad that you let out a primal scream then through your hands up into the air and slam them down onto you car roof. Yup, you just smacked your hands into the same stuff that is covering your seat. Bad event number six, seven, eight, nine and ten..

On the way to lunch, you are at the point where you just don't care anymore. Your seatbelt isn't strapped, you're talking on your phone while you're driving, without a handsfree device all while speeding through the city streets. Every stop light you go through is green and every car in front of you seems to switch to the next lane over. You decide on a light lunch and grab a salad from a local cafe. The cashier says that they shorted you change from your last visit and gives you the salad gratis. You are able to find a seat overlooking the street next to a window, under the air conditioning vent. You are waiting for something bad to happen, just so you can rub it off and say, "so what." It never happens, while you are in the, "I don't care frame of mind." You get back to work and are given the rest of the day off because of a gas leak in the building. You get home, then your favorite sports team wins.

The point is, when all else fails, stop caring. Life's too short.