I have always been a pretty fast driver in parking structures, 25 MPH city streets, curvy roads and disastrously wet conditions. Nothing really compares as to driving fast on the highway with moderate traffic. It always was fun weaving between the truckers and buses. As I get older, I notice that I have slowed down quite a bit and drive more calculating than ever before. Instead of looking at the highway like a big road race, I see it more like a chessboard nowadays.
No, no, no, I'm not trying to say that everyone on the road is a pawn except me. I actually see myself as a pawn on the road.
When the big trucks are cruising along with the tour buses, it's like a rook and a bishop. They are nuts linearly, otherwise, they make great walls. Emergency vehicles are like the queen, any direction and as far and fast as they please. Motorcycles are like the knights, pretty noticeable until they maneuver. One second they're behind you, then you look down to read a text on your phone, next thing you know, they're a car-length ahead and in the left lane. Extremely cautious and defensive drivers are like the kings. You know exactly what I mean, you've seen them. The super slow driver that seems to stay 5 units under the speed limit and turn wherever and whenever the heck they please. You don't dare honk your horn or yell at them because you know that you should respect them. Well, that's what your elders always told you to do. Every other vehicle on the road is a pawn. We're all trying to get to our destination (the end of the board) and have to work around all the big dogs on the road. Every once in a while, we get stuck behind another pawn. Sure you overtook someone's position, but guess what, now there's another pawn in front of you.
You can't go left, there's no one to overtake and the opposing traffic didn't skip a space either (en passant). You can't go right because of the guardrail. You are at the mercy of the car in front of you. If they go faster, you go faster. If you get too close though, they might slow down just to anger you and force you to slow down as well. At this point, you already read their license plate and tried to figure out what the encrypted code means. ILV2CK, does it mean I love to cook, or does it mean I love two....nevermind. Get your mind out of the gutter and concentrate on your driving. All their bumper stickers have been imprinted in a special place on your grey matter as well as the shape of the driver's head and the color of their hair or hat. You've already figured out the model year of the vehicle and examined the paint on the trunk of the car. You also notice that you can see the driver's face in the side mirror of their car. This means that they have their mirror looking directly behind them as to see the side of their car in the side mirror, creating a pretty nasty blind spot in their 7 & 8 'o clock position. You wish that they would just speed up a bit, so you can get along your merry way and be free of the moving gridlock. At this point, you may or may not have slung some irrational rhetoric towards the person driving the car in front of you. They have no clue you are yelling at them and as they glance at you in their rear-view mirror, assume you are just singing along with the radio in your car. This whole time, the car behind has examined you in the same exact manner.
The moral of the story is:
Please think twice about vanity license plates. Someone else might construe a whole different meaning from it.
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