Salty Power!!!

Fast food is a gift to the populous. As lunch breaks get shorter due to long lines, over-stuffed elevators, last minute phone calls and the ever annoying boss/client that always has to have something done by 11:59, a quick corn enriched dollar menu burger can be a lifesaver. The side starch is pretty much standard at most fast food joints, fries, french to be exact. There is a plethora of different styles in the manner in which the fries are sliced, deep fried, battered in some cases, laced with milk (I'm looking at you, Ray Kroc disciples)  and salted. The one consistent ingredient in just about any and all fast food items in different fast food locations is salt. Salt is the basis for the standard, non-hippie, anti-Jamba Juice, not-so Natural Foods, regular, time constrained American diet.

Sure we can eat healthy and some of us do. It costs a little more in some cases, but we know the consequences of a poor diet. Sometimes it takes longer to prepare, but we know that with a little love, food is superb. Eating healthy has far greater benefits to any fast food item, yet we still eat at fast food restaurants, if you can even call it a restaurant. A more fitting term would be a fast "processed and manufactured corn product distribution center".

For those of us 17 people who watched "Food Inc.", we know that pretty much everything processed is made from corn and that Monsanto is the "Waterboy" proverbial devil. So why do we spend our hard earned pennies on processed food and eating out at fast food restaurants? The answer is that we all want that one in a million, rare moment. We all want to be struck by lightning. Admit it, being on the news to tell the reporter how the experience was, would be an entertaining experience, assuming you would survive. You know that salt water is more conductive than non-salted water, so eating loads of fast food makes you more of a target during a lightning storm. Here's a proposition to our fossil fuel energy crisis, issue out a highly conductive chair rigged to a lightning rod on the roof of your house.

Naturally, the chair would be in your living room, so you could watch the latest episodes of "Real housewives of Sheboygan." The lightning rod on your roof would be shaped in the form of the Democratic Republic of Congo, since Zeus loves to strike near Kifuka the most. A freaking huge capacitor would then be wired to your chair and inline to your electrical power meter so you can turn the meter backwards and get credit from the local electrical utility company. As a catalyst to my completely original power solution, I feel that Americans (myself included) would definitely be on the forefront of a power generation revolution.